we will work through this since i haven’t stopped loving him yet. Still insecure about when he goes on his other fb i can’t help but think he’s talking to her or vice versa and if so about what?
Is this it?
Have i found my soul-mate or someone who gives me emotional whiplash? Why must i be reprimanded every time i say anything? You never want to take pictures together… should you not exist in my memory, for our children if we have any? You asked me once how many children i wanted.. i wonder if you’re playing games with me… if I’m just the substitute till what you really want comes along.
i feel we were friendlier at first, you put actual effort without refrains or complaints, or maybe i just made that up cause at the time you were perfect. now your always moody, i feel like i make you moody so lately staying away seems to be the only way i stay in a better mood. Talking about being fair and double standards whys it you take every thing you feel out on me. in fact when i start getting upset or take offence to how your acting i get told to not be a grump and it’s this weird little mental cycle where I’m feeling really messed with. i just wanna give you; you’re space, even if it’s killing me inside cause i just wanna be around you, but not if being with you sometimes is going to be a downer.
I’m starting to not converse as much cause since you don’t reply as much as I’d like i don’t know what we really talk about.. what do we even have in common anymore? do you even want to know me? I’ve asked about your life and you growing up but i don’t feel like you actually care. i don’t know if you actually do, you show it in small doses but it’s never consistant and i try so hard to keep being happy but every time he tells me he loves me I’m not sure if he’s telling me the truth or adding fillers. don’t know if he’s cheating on me, but he quotes how little i text him but all our texts are me talking and him responding in rawr… didn’t know i was dating a dinosaur? everything upsets him, or maybe everything i do… i just don’t feel like he likes me and if that’s the case i wish hed just buck up and tell me…it hurts to think my dream come true isn’t his and to feel so held down by the weight of the negativity i feel within our relationship… i try so hard to stay positive but it never pays off. i don’t know how else to talk to him, or express myself when i get shut down left right and centre… i hope we can work things out before it’s too late… i just wish there was something i knew… </3
"Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours."-Daily Relatable Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)
"I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything."-Anonymous (via rosefancier)
"You got White Bitches tellin you Lies. I’m ya nigguh thought you knew what the deal was?"
Why am i always the enemy? i try so hard, i’m loyal, I’m fair. i don’t know about these double standards you speak of, I’m not hanging out with any boys at 3am, i don’t cry to my “guy” friends when i have a problem. i have only one guy friend i trust, and I’ve been leaning on my girls cause they…
80% of the time it’s like were both on the same connecting cord hanging from stars and dancing with the moon, he’s funny and witty and intelligent. i guess the only time things suck is when i feel like I’m putting more in than I’m getting out, or when i unintentionally offend him and get my head bit off. i don’t appreciate being called a bitch when I’m in a sour mood, but if i work 5 days a week just like you, but make more effort to come over and hang out and not complain or bitch about being tired then i kinda expect the same shit put in.
i snapped at his mom today and told her to grow up cause she wanted to get a new entertainment centre while her house falls apart and blames things not getting done on her husband who also says doesn’t have time or money to fulfill these promises he made about fixing the house and the mom says she already pays for anything else and didn’t wanna help either. so okay i snapped perhaps i shouldn’t have it wasnt my business after all. but i just kinda want to sleep at a house with no fleas a place where my boyfriend isn’t upset by the condition his family lives in and the delusions his parents aspire. again not my business so I’m decided to avoid my bfs home for a while. i cannot manage a healthy mind looking at dirt and excessive clutter.
i wish we could move out together but my boyfriends already stated he didn’t want me living with him and if we were to than perhaps to have separate bedrooms. which I’m kinda okay with but i i don’t know.
another thing is that I’m not sure if he totally accepts me for my past and who I’ve been with. i was young i took my time i found and lost love or crushes. and i think these things bother him since hes told me in the past he was disgusted by how many people i had been with, which makes me wonder if he even likes me. he says he does but i still wonder.
like I really love him, not jus saying it like i thought i loved my other boyfriends, i believe Mikey’s my soul mate, i see so much of himself in my personality prolly from when i first met him when i was 14. i think we’re so the same and i want us to be together, i dont look at other guys talk to other guys notice anyone else but him
i hope he knows this.
anyway that enough for tn.